


Pistachio Remix

by woodpusher



Category: Le avventure di Pinocchio | The Adventures of Pinocchio - Carlo Collodi, Pinocchio (1940), VeggieTales
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-28 07:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodpusher/pseuds/woodpusher
Summary: It's such a clever title - and such a waste.Gelato and Pistachio and there's no ice cream in sight!





	1. Cast of characters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sineala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sineala/gifts), [DaisyNinjaGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyNinjaGirl/gifts).

> I have felt some rapport with Sineala and DNG.  
I suspect this story is not their type of story, but I am hoping it might grow on them.

Pistachio, not Pinocchio.  
Gelato, not Geppetto.  
That is clever.

I thought for certain that the story would involve ice cream. I was disappointed.

Madame Blueberry....she's already in the story as "The Blue Berry." In the Carlo Collodi novel, this character is referred to as "The Lovely Maiden (Fairy) with Azure Hair" In the Disney film, she is the Blue Fairy. Madame Blueberry could play two characters, but a better choice would be Renee Blueberry (discussed below) 

The Peach...Norman Peach...a rarely used character (Mike Nawrocki said he was hard to voice), made his debut in "The Hairbrush Song." (1995).

Renee Blueberry...this is another rarely used character...she is the niece of Madame Blueberry (debuted in Larryboy and the Rumor Weed, 1999).

Blind Lemon Lincoln...I assume that Lemon is the first name and Lincoln is his surname. One might have expected "Blind Lincoln Lemon." He made his debut in "The Blues with Larry" (2005). 

Bad Apple....the only place I've ever seen Apple Ice Cream was at the Henderson County (North Carolina) Apple Festival. However, apple pie a la mode is very popular. Bad Apple made her debut in "Larryboy and the Bad Apple" (2006).

Vanna Banana...In "Princess and the Popstar", the directors explain that in VeggieWorld, a surname is just a surname - it doesn't necessarily indicate what type of fruit or veggie the character is. Vanna's mother (Mrs. Banana) is played by Madame Blueberry. It isn't clear whether Vanna Banana is actually a banana or a carrot. She is played by Laura Carrot, and Vanna made her debut in "Princess and the Popstar" (2011). 

I choose to believe that the characters in Veggie World are so dull-witted they can't tell the difference between a carrot and a banana, and that Vanna Banana is in fact a banana.

Banana ice cream is rare, but it does exist. The banana split is very popular.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, Pistachio doesn't meet the Blue Berry until after he visits the carnival. In the Disney movie and the novel it is before. 
> 
> Pistachio needs to meet the Blue Berry before he meets the Fox and the Cat.
> 
> The Blue Berry doesn't actually do any magic...I don't have my heart set on having her turn back into a statue. Maybe she should just be an ordinary museum visitor.

Pistachio wanders off wanting to buy a ticket to the puppet show. Of course the art books are there too. Off to the side is a room, with a statue. It's the Blue Berry, and the statue comes to life.  
"You're...beautiful. And you're...."

"Blue?" asks the Blue Berry.

Are you the Blue Fairy?" asks Pistachio.

"It's pronounced Blue Berry. Pistachio, did you lie to your father?"

"What?"

"You didn't intend to buy that book at all. You wanted a ticket to the puppet show."

"Whatever you do, don't go to that carnival by the waterfront. My niece went there some time ago and she hasn't been heard from since."

"Well, maybe she's having a lot of fun there."

"One can hope so, but I doubt it. Pistachio, the puppet show is starting soon. I shall see you again."

The Blue Berry once again becomes a statue.

The story continues.


	3. The Ice Cream Factory

Pistachio is at the carnival, having lost all his money. 

Instead of springing him into the sea, Simple Simon asks, "Wouldn't you like to tour the ice cream factory?"

"I sure would!" said Pistachio. 

Simple Simon took him to the factory.

On the outside it said, "Whale Ice Cream and Research, Inc."  
Pistachio said, "Whale Ice Cream and Research?"

Simple Simon said, "Yes, this is the factory."

"This first room is where they churn the ice cream. You can't go in there." said Simple Simon.

"Why not?" asked Pistachio.

"We've got some trade secrets," said Simple SImon.

"Oh," said Pistachio.

They come to the second room.  
"This is the Apple Room, where we make apple ice cream" said Simple Simon.

"I never heard of apple ice cream," said Pistachio.

Simple Simon said, "They have it at the Henderson County North Carolina Apple Festival.  
If you don't like it we can give you some apple pie and vanilla ice cream."

There was Bad Apple, with a nose so long she couldn't get out of the room. Apples were drooping from her long nose. Workers were busy picking apples and chopping them up.

"Bad Apple, you got what was coming to you!" said Pistachio.

"This next room is the Lemon Custard Room. Would you like some Lemon Custard Ice Cream?"

"I sure would!"

"Here you are."

They went in the room. There was Blind Lemon Lincoln, singing the blues. He had a long wooden nose, with lemons sprouting from it.

"Keep up the good work, Lincoln"

"Oh, my sweet creamy ice cream," he sang, "it's what every kid should eat; it's got fruit and dairy, and it's so light and airy."

The scribes took down every word he sang, and said they would get it published in the next issue of Veggie World Parenting.

In the next room was Norman "The Peach" Peach. He doesn't usually talk much, but the scribes were urging him to say something about the incredible health benefits of Whale Ice Cream. He did have a long nose, sprouting with peaches. The scribes wrote down, "Subject responds well to an ice cream regimen." Workers were busy picking peaches and chopping them up.

Then came Vanna Banana's room. "Who are you?" asked Pistachio.

"Vanna Banana."

"I've never heard of you."

"I'm an aspiriring singer. Just wait for my debut next year. I'll make it to number one on the charts."

That was hard to believe. She too had a long nose, with bananas drooping all along it.

(Need some song lyrics)

Workers were busy picking, peeling, and chopping bananas.

The next room was Renee Blueberry's.

Pistachio cried, "You're the Blue Berry's niece."

"That's right."  
Like all the others, she had a long nose, drooping with blueberries. Workers were busy picking blueberries and chopping them up.

The next room was...empty. "This is your room, Pistachio."  
"Huh?"  
Simple Simon locked the door. "Get busy. Produce us some pistachio nuts."  
"What?"  
"You've seen how we make our ice cream. We can't let you go now. Besides, we'd like to add a new flavor to our repertoire."  
"Go ahead, tell us about the health benefits of pistachio ice cream," said Simple Simon. "Um....pistachio ice cream has pistachio nuts....plenty of protein....kids should eat as much of it as possible." Pistachio's nose started to grow. "Keep it up. That's more like it."  
Simple Simon kept forcing Pistachio to lie. Finally his nose sprouted pistachio nuts. Workers got busy picking, shelling, and chopping them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Collodi novel, Pinocchio's nose shrinks twice: once when the fairy with the azure hair calls on woodpeckers to peck at it until it is reduced to normal size, and then again, when Pinocchio admits he is wicked, lazy, and disobedient.
> 
> In the novel Pinocchio goes to the City of Simple Simons (and the Field of Wonders), while in the Disney movie, it's "Pleasure Island." Clearly the Simple Simons are the victims rather than the perpetrator, but I wanted to incorporate something from the novel. I'm not sure if Simple Simon is Charlie Pincher or someone else.
> 
> In the Disney movie, the Blue Fairy shrinks his nose.
> 
> In the VeggieTale, Gelato gets his tools and cuts his nose down to size.
> 
> In the Veggie Tale and the Disney movie, it's a whale that swallows Pinocchio, but in the novel it's the "Terrible Shark." 
> 
> The "& Research, Inc." is added for effect - the company gets a bonus from publishing lies masquerading as research.


	4. The Truth Will Set You Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Collodi novel, Pinocchio finds that his nose shortens when he admits how wicked, lazy, and disobedient he has been.
> 
> Interestingly, in the Collodi novel, Pinocchio isn't exactly turned into a real boy. Rather, he gets a new body - just like in the Book of Revelations.

At nightfall, the scribes and guards left Pistachio's room once he pretended to sleep. Pistachio was stuck, with his nose too long and heavy to exit the room. "It looks like I'm going to learn a trade whether I want to or not. Raising pistachios....it looks like the only pay I'm going to get is all the ice cream I want." 

"If only, if only, I had listened to my father. If only I had listened to the Blue Berry." he told himself. 

"I've made such a mess of things. I wonder...would God forgive me?" 

"Let's try it. Lord, I've been a terrible sinner. I have not honored my father. I have ignored sage advice from the Blue Berry. I have not studied my lessons, I have not learned a trade.  
Please, please, forgive me." 

At that moment, Pinocchio's nose started to shrink. 

"Oh, thank you, Lord. Now I can at least get out of this room - maybe even this whole factory." He made his way to the other rooms. 

"Vanna, you shouldn't be doing this. You've got a great talent for singing. You could be a pop star. Confess your sins and shorten your nose." She did and her nose shortened, leaving bananas strewn all over the floor.

"Renee, your aunt misses you terribly. She said you came here a long time ago and she hasn't heard from you since. I thought you were having fun, but it doesn't look like it. Confess your sins and let's get out of here." 

"Blind Lemon Lincoln, I know you've had a hard life. You sing the blues. People have stolen your ice cream, and now you sit here and make lemons. If you want to get out of here, confess your sins and your nose will shorten." 

"Norman Peach, you don't say much, but there's got to be more to life than sitting there growing peaches all day long. Confess your sins and your nose will shorten." 

"Bad Apple, as bad as you've been, God will forgive even you for your sins. Just ask Him into your heart, admit everything you've done wrong, and your nose will shorten."  
(hmmm...maybe Bad Apple should refuse.)

As Pistachio and the fruits sneaked out of the factory, they passed the churning room. "I wonder what trade secrets they were worried about," Pistachio wondered. So he went inside. The other fruits went on their way to escape the factory. He looked inside, and saw old-fashioned ice cream churns. There was Gelato, churning ice cream.  
"Father!" he said, "what are you doing here?"

Gelato awakened. "Pistachio, I came looking for you. Of course they trapped me into working for them. I've been churning ice cream for lo these many months. You know the hand cranked ice cream freezer was the finest device ever invented for teaching youth that hard work has its rewards."

They sneaKed out of the ice cream factory, found a boat, and made their way back home.


End file.
